Saturday, June 25, 2005


Yeshua says: "If you are searching you must not stop until you find. When you find, however, you will become troubled. Your confusion will give way to wonder. In wonder you will reign over all things. Your sovereignty will be your rest." Logion 2- The Gospel of Thomas

In this Coptic Gospel the Wisdom Yeshua presents Himself, His true nature to us and presents the possibility of the Great Way to all. They are the same. Everyone begins by searching. There is the arising of a great desire. The Zen master ancestor, Dogen, calls this the "Mind that Seeks the Way." The author of the Cloud of Unknowing calls this our naked desire, our heart's desire. Doesn't matter, it's innate, it's in all of us. It may remain dormant in some, stifled in others, or given full reign in others. In every case our heart's desire is the way in to the Divine, the way Home. What may be tragic or sad in a life, is that because of despair or confusion, persons either seek cheap substitutes for their heart's desire or give up altogether.

The invitation is to listen to your desire to be Home, to be one with the Unity That Is. In the Christian tradition Yeshua offers Himself as the gate to that essential Unity He calls Abba (loving parent) or Allaha (the Unity from which all things arise.) Yeshua urges us not to stop, for anything, Keep on following this desire, this searching. As we open to it, as we discover the Home that is Christ in our own heart, it can be disturbing, for the very simple reason that our soul, our behavior, our attitudes and values are stunningly out of harmony with this Deeper Life of Christ in our life. Hence the illumination of awakening to oneness is just the beginning. The path then takes us into a lifetime of contrition, conversion, and bringing all of our humanity, all of our soul/consciousness as a lamp of this inner Light of Christ.

Yeshua notes that our confusion subsides as we began to understand that this process of divinization, of continual conversion, of transformation of becoming Christ, is the what we're here to do. The wonder is that there is a Life, the Heart of Christ within us that does reign over all that is our rest and the sovereignty to whom we can give our entire life each moment. This is the meaning of the Consecrated Life.

As time goes on and as I enter this year of retreat, as I do my manual work practice of cleaning out the garage, the closets, the garden shed, the storage room there is some pretty yucky stuff there, mice dung, dirt, and debris of every sort. Well it's a joy to bring some light into these spaces and sweep them clean and bright. This is not unlike the shape we may find our own soul/consciousness. There's yucky stuff in there! Knotted and dark places in need of wholesome Light and space. I shake my head at times, rediscovering with humility what kind of shape I'm actually in. Not a problem, don't judge it as unworthy or unclean. Just sort through it and invite the Light and the spacious healing of the Savior Christ into it. In the same way it is a joy to bring Light and healing and let Christ live in us. That is true living and that is the purpose of our practice, that Christ may live fully in us, in the bosom of our very humanity. As our searching and our wonder grows, the Heart of Christ will reign over all and we will rest and abide in Him as He has welcomed us to do. Our searching begins and ends as we follow the Great Way of the Beloved Disciple, laying our cheek on the breast of Yeshua, listening to the Heartbeart of the Eternal One, Heart of the Universe, Heart of Love, Heart of Compassionate Life.
Yeshua is my home eternally.
Blessings to all,
Bill Ryan